As the first commenter on this post will assuredly point out, this is old news. The second commenter will likely correct him in a patronizing tone, reminding him that a requirement for news is that it be new, and that this story, therefore, is not news at all. The third commenter, a jocular fellow, will then inquire if it is, in fact, olds? We get it, alright? However, we've never failed to mention new additions to the Xbox Live Arcade, and we don't plan on starting this week. Besides, when you see these sterling new releases, we don't think you'll fault us for being a few days late to the new release party.

First up is Double D Dodgeball (800 MS points/$10), which recreates the classic playground sport with an eye-searing "retro arcade design". The game dropped two weeks before its expected release date, though a reported bug that kicks players off of Xbox Live upon starting up the game make us wonder if perhaps a few guns were jumped. Joining it is Coffeetime Crosswords (800 MS points/$10). With 150 puzzles and a co-op mode, this new entry will surely fulfill all your sinister linguiphilic desires.

Rounding out the list is the EA Fantasy Football Live Draft Tracker (400 MS points/$5), which allows users of EA's online fantasy leagues to import their league settings, draft new players, then export their new rosters back onto EA's servers. This is not a game, and we regret including it in this post.

Sega's E3 presence was among the weakest at last week's event, trumped only by the pitiful showing at Camp Belmont, a notion not helped by the absence of Gearbox-developed Aliens: Colonial Marines from either the show floor or Sega's own booth. Videogamer.com cornered Gearbox president Randy Pitchford about the missing shooter, a no-show he blamed squarely on Sega's marketing strategy, adding that "the game is in great shape. People are going to freak out when they see it."

By people, he obviously didn't mean Sega's own marketing VP Sean Ratcliffe, who told us that while the publisher was considering showing the game at E3, Sega didn't feel that it was quite ready for prime time. "I think it needs a little more time before we want to put it in front of the press," the exec told us. He added that more news regarding the status of Aliens: Colonial Marines will be announced sometime after E3, though we continue to hope that Sega will release game as planned in late 2008 and not nuke the site from orbit.

[Thanks Cellien]

When it was first announced that LittleBigPlanet's Sackboy would be going fisticuffs with all manner of textile-based baddies, we were perplexed as to how these throwdowns would be executed. After all, Sackboy doesn't exactly look like a fearsome opponent -- though we suppose the same could be said for overweight plumbers, oddly-hued rodents, and most other 2D platforming superstars.

However, this recent gameplay clip from Media Molecule shows off how everyone's favorite ambulatory sack will tussle with one of the game's bosses -- by using a moving platform to bounce his own exploding barrels back at him. It looks pretty fun, though not incredibly deep. Perhaps that's a good thing -- if bosses can be this simple, will we perhaps be able to create our own? We'll have to wait until October to find out.

[Via PS3F]

PixelJunk Eden is a simple concept boosted by its visuals, sound and co-op gameplay. Much like PixelJunk Monsters, Eden's simplicity in design hides a surprising amount of depth and Q-Games' PixelJunk brand now adds one more feather to its cap, presenting another piece of stand-out quality on the PlayStation Network.

We actually played Eden with the game's producer, Deb Mars, who, despite having shown off the game for the umpteenth million time, either has the patience of Solomon Job, or actually genuinely enjoys introducing people to Eden. As she went through the basic gameplay it was easy to understand and gave a good sense that, much like PixelJunk Monsters, Eden really shines when it's played with a friend.

Based off of our explorations of the Croft manor in previous Tomb Raider installments, we can say with absolute certainty that Lara Croft has a pretty sweet pad. Or, rather, had a sweet pad -- in the latest E3 trailer for Eidos and Crystal Dynamics' Tomb Raider: Underworld, the titular adventurer, now sans hot pants, apparently lays waste to her extravagant dwelling.

The two-minute, gameplay-less trailer is visually impressive, though our minds are racing with questions surrounding the top-heavy historian's act of residential sabotage. Is she trying to collect on her homeowner's insurance? Is she attempting to quash a rather formidable termite infestation? Perhaps she's trying to earn a visit from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? We'll be finding out when Underworld explodes onto store shelves November 18.

The easiest way to describe Fat Princess for PSN is to say it's Team Fortress 2 populated by demented My Sims. It's a multiplayer "capture the flag" game, except that the flag is a princess who is more difficult to carry back to base the more the opposing team feeds her cake, which magically grows in the forest around the castle.

The action takes place in a colorful fantasy land where opposing teams need to reach the other's base, grab their princess and get back to the castle. The princess will lose the weight if she's not constantly fed, so if a team focuses on just combat instead of feeding the princess, the opposing team will have an easier time carrying her away once they inevitably infiltrate the castle.

Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee has himself an awful game this week with Alone in the Dark, and he uses the opportunity for all that it's worth. This is a classic episode for the amount of ire it dishes out. Yes, it's everything one expects from Yahtzee reviewing Edward Carnby's latest misadventure in the well-intentioned, but ultimately flawed, game.

The NSFW clip can be found after the break.

One notable absence from LucasArts E3 room was any presence of Indiana Jones whatsoever. While they were highly touting Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, and Fracture, they didn't even have a poster featuring a silhouette of Indy and the Hat anywhere to be seen. Not only that, but LucasArts employees visibly bristled whenever we asked about it. "No comment" stung us like a whip several times.

Matt Shell, marketing manager at LucasArts, finally let us know that yes, they're working on something. However, they didn't want to talk about it at all. It just seems odd that they have one of the highest grossing movies of the year, based on one of their most iconic properties, and they don't even want to show us a photo of a whip and say "It's in the game." Jump on that opportunity, Lucas! Especially after you were honking your Euphoria physics engine so loud in 2006.

With the App Store open for business, games are finally headed to Apple's iPhone, and the unit's multitouch interface, accelerometer, and built-in mic and speaker make it perfect for gaming. THQ Wireless is one of the many companies getting ready to try and cash in on the first generation of the App Store -- after making games for a lot of other mobile devices, Director of Global Production Brad Pitser is excited about finally releasing software for the iPhone.

Joystiq got to play two different games in THQ's demo at E3. De Blob is a handheld adaptation of the Wii game, and uses the accelerometer in the iPhone and iPod touch to do a little light platform puzzling. And Force Unleashed attempts to recreate the upcoming Star Wars action title, by using a touchscreen gesture system to try and make you feel like a Jedi. impressions of both are after the break.

Pete Hines from Bethesda shattered our crystalline dreams yesterday when he told us that the Vault-Tec 800 number for Fallout 3 means... absolutely nothing. He and Todd Howard had argued about it, and Pete wanted it to actually have something hidden inside for fans, but he got vetoed.

Although Bethesda would love for rabid Fallout fans to kick down the door of a 68 year old woman's house in Texas in search of hidden editions of the game, it just ain't happenin'. Listen to the actual audio dialogue below which busted up our hopes for a Rain Man level math secret hidden in the phone message.

You have to give it to Tom Clancy: He hasn't let his success keep him from trying his hand at new things. One of his latest of these ventures is HAWX, a new action flight game that I got a chance to play during E3. I only got to sample the multiplayer, but what I saw left me really impressed.

At first, the game seems a fairly common take on the genre: You coast around in a strikingly realistic world that's been generated by Google Maps. When you find a target, you can either paint them with heat-seeking missiles or blast them with machine guns (the latter of which I never had much luck with).

Normally, we wouldn't be so quick to hand down a major honor like this, but with just a few hours left in the show we feel pretty confident. So, on behalf of Joystiq and the Joystiq network, we're pleased to present Running With Scissors, creators of Postal 3 with the coveted Weapon of the Show award for ... badger on a harness.

Confused? Here's the basic premise: It's a badger on a harness, and when you point it at people it wrecks their shop until they die from it. Congratulations, Running With Scissors, enjoy it in good health.

Insomniac's Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty is the first (and possibly only) episodic DLC for the series. Community Relations Manager James Stevenson told us during a hands-on session that RC:QB is an "experiment" and that it could serve as either the start of an episodic series or just a transition between two disc-based titles.

The 3 to 4 hour game is built on the Tools of Destruction engine with some better lighting. Other than a new grapple feature, which is used for puzzle solving and world interaction, the game is in many ways an extension of the Ratchet and Clank series. Stevenson said the game was planned to be "more heavily focused" on platforming elements instead of the guns (although those are available as the game progresses).

In case you're curious as to how DICE is planning to fight against simulation sickness in Mirror's Edge (not motion sickness, since you're not actually moving), an EA spokesperson provided a number of explanations during our hands-on with the game. For starters a little white blip is now placed the middle of the screen. It turns blue when it's charged for the slow motion action, but more importantly, it serves to focus the viewer's eyes.

The rep told us that they interviewed ballerinas to see how they perform spins without feeling sick. Their trick is to focus on a certain object or spot on the floor, which inspired the devs to add the dot. For those who find it distracting and obnoxious, there is an option to turn it off.

Also removed was the head bobbing found in the earlier GDC menu. The rep said they are now viewing the game from your eyes and not your head. Finally, the developers of the game told us that the use of the sides of the screens provides a sense of peripheral vision in the game. We were told they hadn't decided whether or not to use letterbox widescreen for 4:3-resolution television screens.

As revealed earlier in Sony's E3 press conference, popular platforming pair Ratchet & Clank are to embark on a $15 PSN adventure sometime this Summer. The cheaper, bite-sized game will serve as a "great introduction to what R&C is all about," depicting the adventures of the Lombax and robot following Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction's climax.

For those excited by the news but alarmed by the lack of a physical disc to cherish and smell when nobody's looking, SCEE president David Reeves has promised a Blu-ray disc version of Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty, just for PAL territories. There will also be PSN version, but we all know that'll look completely rubbish in your sprawling disc collection.